Intergenerational Trauma
"My daughter won't give me kisses or snuggles!" I complain to my mother. "We're all like that," she responds, "we're just not very affectionate people."
She goes into her story about how as a child she received zero warmth from her parents, and how she definitely gave us a lot more than she was taught to give. Her own mother, my grandmother, suffered a great deal of trauma in her life, and did not provide her children with overt affection.
So what does this mean? Did I unknowingly pass down some kind of inherited trait for being standoffish?
The idea of passing down family issues is a bit more complex than that. There is something called intergenerational trauma. It's a term used to explain trauma that is passed down from one generation to the next. After a complex traumatic event is suffered by the first generation, the children, and their children, may experience residual effects and PTSD symptoms.
Intergenerational trauma is a relatively new concept, only gaining recognition after it was noticed that a large number of children of Holocaust survivors were seeking therapy themselves.
There are several theories about how intergenerational trauma is passed down. One fairly obvious way that intergenerational trauma is passed down is through behaviors. A child can develop traumatic responses based off of a parent's behavior from unresolved PTSD symptoms. These include things like hypervigilance, excessive anxiety or worry, mistrust of others, and being emotionally guarded.
One easily identified example of this is seen in children of those who lived and suffered through the Great Depression and who did not live through the economic crisis themselves. Whether knowingly or subconsciously, many of these now-adult children continue to experience anxiety regarding finances themselves. Some may even have unusual or insecure relationships with food, or they may place a lot of emotional value on material possessions.
Intergenerational trauma does not have to happen through mass tragedies. It is something that can start from any traumatic incident that goes untreated and develops into maladaptive behaviors. Although it may not get pointed out very often, it is not uncommon for trauma therapists to hear about trauma that's been inherited through generations.
My grandmother's childhood was nothing short of traumatic. She lost her father at 7 years old, and along with years of abuse and financial distress, was sent alone to live in a new country. Though it was never openly discussed, these experiences shaped her entire life and those of her children and, inevitably, her grandchildren.
So what can you do?
Well, for one, if you've experienced trauma first-hand and have or plan on having your own family, it is recommended that you address the traumatic symptoms to reduce the risk of passing them down through maladaptive responses.
If you inherited the trauma from generations before you, family therapy along with individual trauma-focused or EMDR therapy can be an effective way of facing the issue head-on and reducing any ongoing distress.
Though the intergenerational trauma cycle can be challenging to break, acknowledging and dealing with the issue can help put an end to it. Trauma is not something that has to be passed down through generations. Traumatic responses can be reduced or even resolved, shifting behavior from being pain-driven to healthy, reality-based actions.
Written by Shiran Cohen
Shiran is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Certified EMDR Therapist at Trauma Counseling of Florida
